Friday, August 28, 2009

No smoke...No mirrors...

So, as is life for many (who admit), I too, accept that a struggle exists for me somewhat regularly.
To remain calm, at peace and centered in the midst of everday life at times and children, as completely awesome and mystifying as they are, is a gift.
To give back to myself and take time to nurture my a Mum, Wife, Artist...and well, Human Being.
Hmmmm, it is often overwhelming, I am first to admit.
I have no smoke and no mirrors to make it all a constant, sunny illusion of blissful living (and what is real is real afterall, so I would not want smoke or mirrors anyway).

I find the Wonder in it all, I do.
I find the hugeness of parenting and all it encompasses, positively great most all of the time( super challenging a good part of the time).
I am, afterall, a Human Being and am doing the very very best I can...this is enough, my children are happy, creative, huggy and lovey, healthy, well mannered and so downright amazing. However, there are times when the battle exists within~to not harbor guilt, not be questioning myself, to know that I am present in all that is important to them (& moi).
I play, more imaginatively, more deeply, more heartfelt than many.
On a recent family getaway, I looked around at one point as I sat eagerly playing my part as 'Monkey in the Middle' in the 'family' see all the parents of the kids (along with my two lovelies, of course, I was playing with) sitting poolside reading, chatting, texting and (super Wow) sleeping.

I learn everyday something new to teach me the ropes to carry me through.
I am so grateful for so many things, I cannot even begin to say.
But with everything, I am real, real in my struggles, real in myself and so I must confess that I learn as I go. I grow stronger with what I know and it happens new...everyday.

I think some of you read regularly, if you ever want to leave a comment, I am so happy to hear from you. I think you can anonymously, however, I am hearing otherwise, so please let me know.

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