Friday, August 28, 2009

No smoke...No mirrors...

So, as is life for many (who admit), I too, accept that a struggle exists for me somewhat regularly.
To remain calm, at peace and centered in the midst of everday life at times and children, as completely awesome and mystifying as they are, is a gift.
To give back to myself and take time to nurture my a Mum, Wife, Artist...and well, Human Being.
Hmmmm, it is often overwhelming, I am first to admit.
I have no smoke and no mirrors to make it all a constant, sunny illusion of blissful living (and what is real is real afterall, so I would not want smoke or mirrors anyway).

I find the Wonder in it all, I do.
I find the hugeness of parenting and all it encompasses, positively great most all of the time( super challenging a good part of the time).
I am, afterall, a Human Being and am doing the very very best I can...this is enough, my children are happy, creative, huggy and lovey, healthy, well mannered and so downright amazing. However, there are times when the battle exists within~to not harbor guilt, not be questioning myself, to know that I am present in all that is important to them (& moi).
I play, more imaginatively, more deeply, more heartfelt than many.
On a recent family getaway, I looked around at one point as I sat eagerly playing my part as 'Monkey in the Middle' in the 'family' see all the parents of the kids (along with my two lovelies, of course, I was playing with) sitting poolside reading, chatting, texting and (super Wow) sleeping.

I learn everyday something new to teach me the ropes to carry me through.
I am so grateful for so many things, I cannot even begin to say.
But with everything, I am real, real in my struggles, real in myself and so I must confess that I learn as I go. I grow stronger with what I know and it happens new...everyday.

I think some of you read regularly, if you ever want to leave a comment, I am so happy to hear from you. I think you can anonymously, however, I am hearing otherwise, so please let me know.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

More of the Wonderous...

As my weekly wonder series are some bits of wonder I have come across and been awed by in various ways.

Oftentimes, it is the simplest of things...

Like falling in love with pieces I design.

Quiet, peaceful playtimes...

Most adored man FZ

Sunsets with friends in beautiful places...

And then, of course, the moon...

Have a wonderfully, marvelous day!

Saturday, August 22, 2009


Lately I have felt the pull of motherhood and creative voices, one pulls me one way the other another way, my arms are stretched out (from the pulling) and I have felt a heaviness on my shoulders.
I sometimes have not been as attentive as I am capable, I know sometimes I am present in body, but my mind is out in the studio I have made a choice to be more aware, be more truly present and breathe it all in. School begins around the corner and these are some cherished times alone with a open schedule and wee lovelies by my side.
So for now, it is long, leisurely mornings of snuggles in bed, tea party picnics at breakfast and lunch, messy paints all over the patio, quiet reading on the couch, mystery scavenger hunts around the block (it's a long block) and soft goodnight back scratching after animated stories at bedtime.
May a balance always be found to be ourselves as the Mum's we know we are...and do what we love as artists.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Wonderous series.

While visiting a family member who just moved into a new (fixer-upper) pad (backyard not touched yet) for a housewarming on the weekend, I heard the always wonderous, heartwarming sound of giggling coming from our two lovelies out back... upon walking through the gate I was struck by the simple joy and wonder of their amusement, orchestrated by a big smile came across my face, my heart grew...for in this moment, I was once again, a most grateful and wonder-filled Mum.
I am always intrigued by the beauty that surrounds, no matter where we are, when children laugh and families are together, wonder abounds.
Here in this old yard, with overgrown weeds & a rusty wheelbarrow fun was found by an amazing threesome.
There was one flower shining in the corner and calling to be seen.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Coming Out...

Follow me...
I'm opening the door...
I'm stepping out...
Bringing it all with me...
Setting it out for the world to see...
Sitting quietly, watching, breathing and waiting...

So, my work was welcomed, I had some very moving & amazing, or as I like to say WONDEROUS moments of artistic revelation occur. I turned around at one point to see a woman tearing up while looking closely at one of my designs, (she bought it, I think it reminded her of something special and very significant)...Ok, so that was completely majestic.

Someone defined my work as 'Poetic'...she was French and she explained to me, very beautifully, I might add, that my work made time stop, she defined it as such: 'you look at it and somehow you are captured by the 'stillness' and the living part is so alive, it seems to have stopped in time, but is still growing'. I liked that.
This is living art, small pieces of the most earthly treasures to completly inspire and add whimsey and unique style to any space...
I am energized and so inspired...moving forward feels so very right. We must listen to our hearts, I mean really listen, stop and will hear it, the voice of what is to be and never has their been a sound so real.

Have a marvelous evening.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Warm & Cozy Summer...

Well, it feels as though the weather is cooling just a little bit here in So. Cal.
It is very subtle, the change, but I can feel small pangs of anticipation for the Fall and all the beauty that accompanies that time of year.
Ever since I was a little girl, I remember always being so ready for Summer, eager to feel the warm sun on my face and the sweet breezes on the beach.

On the same note, I recall my readiness for what is Fall in So. Cal., leaves changing colors and dropping everywhere, cold nights and the smell of wool scarves around my neck, rosy cheeks and the prospect of a new school year, familiar faces and new friends.

With two wee ones, this is something I am reminded of, and once again fills me with wonder. My readiness to embark on the next season has been renewed and I remember the fun of it all once again. I feel this hint of coolness in the air lately and as much as I do not will time to go fast (it does that just fine on it's own), I am excited about what is around the corner and enjoying what is right here in front of me now. So for the time being, I will bask in the sunshine and warmth, I will dig my toes in the sand with a smile on my face, no matter what time of the year.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Word out to a wonderful man...

Gotta give Thanks today and everyday for my most supportive, very behind-me, input-giver, open-minded and righteous man's to all you do. I love you to the end (as the Pogues sang at our wedding).
I am what my heart calls me to be, thanks in part to you....gotta love those wonderous men.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Spread the News...

Ok, so I will make this short and sweet, just got word that one of my designs will be featured on the local KUSI (San Diego) news segment for Sunday morning...
So, since I have to get my boodie out to the studio to pick the 'chosen one' piece, I am boiling the H2O for tea and headin' out.
I have that tug that results in spending hours out there...
A full moon shines
Soft, sweet, cool breezes drifting
Music low
From hand, to heart, to you...
It all speaks for itself
The night is young

Goodnight to all and sweet dreams.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Hair we are...

I only have time to read a few blogs and one is Bohogirl, & today I read about her very freeing and lovely experience with a new do-hair that is...dreadlocks.
I realized from reading her post, that I had actually went through a transition some years ago, and my letting go of internal issues with physical boundaries, was achieved by actually cutting off all my hair...

It got me thinking about hair and how we are connected to our hair and the physical (& internal) tie to appearance that our hair represents.

I sort of wish I had possesed the insight and slowed down enough to actually consider dreads, I would have loved them, I just know.
My short-to-no hair is my thing now, it is who I am. I am a no fuss, straight from the heart shooter, not sure how that relates to my actual hair, but it helps, I guess because I don't spend a whole lot of time primping and priming myself to take on the world each day (not to mention with two wee ones constantly in tow, I really, very happily, just do not have time). I have people tell me often that they don't know too many people who could pull it off as such (the lack of hair).

It just so happens that we headed to the haircut shop today for SZ, and I was thinking again about the interesting connection with our personalities and self image, as weirdly as it might sound, to our hair.
Our son is a wonder (there I go using that word again, but it so fits) and his hair suits his personality, as it just so came to be naturally; artist, surfer, musician (to be)...he suits his look and his hair is a big part of that. Hmmmm.
So, I just thought I would see how you feel about your hair, and how, if in anyway, you feel its connection to your real self?

I like hair. To me, the less the better ...but Oh, those dreads, they sure are beautiful....maybe one day.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Ebb & Flow of Letting Go...

Sometimes you just have to let go.
Lately, there seems to be various pieces of me and issues in life, that I find must be released (for overall well being and peace of mind) while softly saying 'Goodbye'.
Overcoming fears has been on the top of the list recently.
In addition, seeing what is real in relationships and those that surround me and taking stock in what each piece in question means...whether it be as a friend, mother, wife or artist....
I realize that learning to let go is a journey for which I am constantly discovering new territory.
Letting go of my fears about exposing my art has opened doors and brought me such confidence to move forward. Good going on that one.

Letting go of small things with little lovelies
(speaking on children of course, or whomever your little lovely might happen to be)
can make one's day most wonderful.
We must, after all, pick our battles wisely.
Superbly done on that end.
Letting go of relationships/people, that is a new one for me...and I will leave it at that.
So far so good.
So, here is to holding strong and knowing the time to let go when life calls us to do so.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Wonder abounds once again...

I have decided to do a series on all that is Wonderous around me.
If you follow me, you will see, I use the word Wonder quite a bit...
So, on that note, around once a week, I am thinking Monday's, I will post a little bit of Wonder which has been experienced here in this corner of the world.
I have no doubt that the content will be rich, and never will there be a shortage of Wonderous experiences to share.
Since, I am a Mum, Wonder is found so abundantly in my little ones...
Oh My, it never ceases to amaze.
With Wonder comes thanks and I am grateful for so many things.
I could fill thousands of Mondays with those thoughts...
For now, the Wonder is summer:
sun, salt, warm water, waves, sand,
buckets, shovels, warm shoulders, salty kisses,
sandy car seats, watermelon, peaches,
building sand dreams & promptly stomping through them, puffy clouds that resemble 5 legged elephants (just to name one),
laughing in the sun...oh this wonderfulwonderousworld.
I am so lucky, stop, look around, and you will realize you are too.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

A very good, wonderful, especially lovely day for Still Lily...

Creative productivity in full force here.
The gates open and it all just flows beautifully, I must say.
With music playing and hands in motion natural art takes on a life all its own.
As my shelves fill, my heart and soul grow.

I imagine each piece filling a special, unique space...for someone special and unique.

Two weeks and counting till the show ...heading in armed, ready and so happy to share.