seeing clearly....

Carly Simon sure had it right when she sang, so many years ago, that she could see clearly now the rain has gone...here in Southern California we have experienced some unusual October weather in the way of lightning storms, thunder and rain...and it is really rather magnificent, to say the least. Everything is green, clean, fresh and feeling fall-like. Our weather changes here are subtle compared to other parts of this country, however, they are all I have known, and it is always refreshing to experience the change in seasons and the shifts into new pockets of the year.
I am seeing more clearly these days, as life takes busy turns with wee ones and their needs and priorities become so clear, and the time spent with them is so important, letting some other things fall to the side is just a natural occurence, of which I accept. I still struggle with the balance of it all, but embrace the resolution of completely being present for them and the attention they require. Around these parts we are shifting and making changes to our living environment and I realize that once you make some choices to move forward, you don't realize how stuck you might have been...now I do. The unstuck feels wonderful, the plans and decisions for our home/yard which FZ and I make together have been overdue and seeing our plans come to life lifts my heart and makes me smile.

On another note, some designs have made their way back from space and have landed on my wee doorstep in the country not far from the sea....soon, to land on a shelf here.

Hope all you little lovelies have a splendid day.

boy...joy...of my life...

5 years ago in the early morning of October 23, i looked over at FZ and told him it was time to go to the hospital. i had had a great pregnancy, did yoga avidly up until the day before labor, had a fairly quick and smooth delivery and knew that i was having a boy, but when the nurse handed him to me in the delivery room and i looked down at his sweet face, my life was altered and my heart opened and warmed in the most amazing of ways. of course, i knew this feeling from delivering our daughter a few years before, but it is just a little different with each, i suppose. although, what was to happen over the next few days, was something i was in no way, prepared for, nor equipped to deal with...

i have vivid memories of our quiet, calm and peaceful bubble of a room. i remember just him and i sleeping surrounded by the sweet smell of new baby, wrapped like a burrito in that soft stripped blue/pinkish hospital blanket...then him in the bassinet/sleeper next to me, listening to his breath, crying softly out of joy and feeling so connected in every way to my new boy. on the second day in the hospital we were informed that there was an issue with his heart, unsure of the origin of the problem, tests were performed and large machinery wheeled into our previously peaceful room. visits from doctors i had never met, nurses checking in at all hours listening to his heart. i was flown headlong into a place of fear, desperation, disbelief and stress.


we went home, but with no real answers and much uncertainty about the upcoming days/months...he returned at 2 weeks to have his heart procedure performed, and it was a success (for now), no medications required in his life, just follow ups, no real restrictions per say. he is an amazing, beautiful boy, full of all the curiosities and wild indian ways of a wee man...he is constantly amazing us all with his quirky, fun and creative ways. he is a lover of kisses, cuddles and hugs, never holds back on sharing his affections. he looks up to and cherishes his sister (even while chasing her with a sword). he has changed my life, altered my views, caused me some stress and countless sleepless nights, i have experienced emotions and feelings of which i never knew existed. i have come out stronger, more grounded, more aware of the fragility of life, the simple fact that one little moment can truly change your world forever. he has taught me lessons of life that will dwell inside me forever, his being is so amazing, his presence always was meant to be.
i am such a lucky girl.

happy birthday to you, our wonderful boy.

prepping...

around these parts fall is in the air...halloween decorations are up, there is talk of costumes and days are cooler, it has been a little rainy and we are hunkering down inside getting ready for the holidays, making lists of gifts to make by hand, finishing projects and getting ready to start new ones! this is one of my favorite times of the year, traditions and family keep us grounded at times when we need it most...and lately, i have needed it most.

pull of the tides...

they swim till dark...
fearless and free
crashing into waves with abandon
holding breath
emerging in giggles
watching the other in a silent, secret game
holding sand crabs who tickle their palms
then setting them free...with directions to find their sea families...

pockets of broken shells and rocks mix with wet sand

talking to secret sea monsters living in handmade castles

dragging tails of seaweed up and down the shore

finally too dark for the sea

wrapped in towels

sharing whispers about the fun and adventure of such a day....

spaced out...

some space inspired designs are heading into the shop next week and here are just a few glimpses...

have a lovely weekend...

the perfect protest

taking part in a protest this week (to be carried on indefinetly) called The Perfect Protest, I just love love this whole concept, and Brene Brown for putting this out into the world to join in. I am embracing my imperfections in all their glory. With everything I have on my plate these days between kids, business, home, life, I find myself thinking that I have to do them all perfectly and appear to have everything all together...when in fact, I don't and that is just fine. I am letting go of so many ties that bind which are bred from the idea of having to be perfect. I am fogiving myself and loving all the imperfections, which in all reality, are me. So I am throwing perfection out the window and bidding it farewell, it was not a welcomed guest and has done no good. No more Mrs. Perfection here!

lone fisherman...

our wee man sz has taken to fishing...oddly enough, this has not, in the past, been a family sport per se, he became enthralled with this interesting pastime while we were up north on the coast and he met a little guy his age who enjoyed squirrel fishing...yep, tie a carrot on the end, cast off into the bushes and wild yonder and watch the squirrels shoot out of the blue every which way to catch that carrot as it gets reeled in amidst giggles and knee bending laughter...so, upon our arrival home, he wanted a fishing pole of his own, we obliged, with the understanding that anything caught would be returned to it's rightful home.

last weekend while camping, sz made it very clear that surf fishing was going to take place during our trip (and that did not stop being made clear, over and over and over again)...what came about, was quite a interesting surprise for me.

our 4 year old, who by, most counts, just loves to run like a wild indian and holler and hoot, climb on rocks, dig sand moats and do such boy things...however, when he got that bait on his hook and tied on his wee weights with the help of dad, he headed down to the shore alone and there he stayed, calmly, quietly, casting and reeling in amongst the waves and tide, every once in a while looking back when casting so as to make sure no one was walking by he might snag a hook on.

he reminded me of an old soul, still and peaceful and taking it all in, the ocean in all its wonder and enjoying just being on his own, doing his own thing. these little ones surprise in so many wonderful ways, it just never ceases to amaze.

may your day be peaceful and calm, even if it is not at the shore casting your line.